There are some very odd things that we do in this country.
We turn lawn-mowing into an art. We continue to claim that we have a film industry. We buy records by Katie Melua and Jamie Cullum.
Almost as odd as these is that we have Christmas Pantomimes. I'm going to one tomorrow night. It will be the only one I go to this year. Except that I'm going to it twice.
Oh no you're not.
Oh yes - I am.
It's the Finchley Guild Players' performance of Dick Whittington, and I have to admit I am very much looking forward to it, even though I'm not usually a fan of the genre. How else would I get the chance to yell "It's behind you!" at people I know?
OK, maybe if I released a savage tiger into the suburbs and then went round to friends' houses to warn them. But that seems a little elaborate. Then again, we do some odd things round here. See above.