Thursday, February 21, 2008


Up at All Saints Catholic College in the heady metropolis of Dukinfield, I met some excellent people from Years 7, 8 and 9.

I'll never forget the school where hamsters wear swimming armbands (in case they stumble into the toilet) and aliens release armies of mutant bears that destroy houses and force orphans to go and live in Liverpool.

It was also great to get the chance to talk about songwriting, as well as story writing. I played a few tunes for an elite musical group between sessions on my books. Loads of fun, and it even included the premiere of a brand new song - my first new song for ages. Timed perfectly to coincide with the Brit awards tonight.

(All I'm going to say about the Brits: 1- Rihanna was way better at the Grammies. 2- Amy Winehouse: I'm worried. 3- Paul McCartney rocks.)

Finally, a statistical mystery that hit me at Euston Station on my way home. The ads up the escalator claim that Virgins new trains (which, by the way, make me travel sick), emit "76% less carbon than domestic flights or cars".

How is that possible? To emit 76% less carbon that domestic flight OR cars. Do domestic flights and cars emit the same amount of carbon? That would be an incredible coincidence. I'd believe it if it said something like "76% less carbon that domestic flights and 39% less carbon than cars". But it doesn't. So it's clearly rubbish.

Also, why is it always so hot on Virgin trains?

I might have to build up the energy for a wholesale rant. But it might turn out more of a whinge...

Anyway - wotcha to All Saints. Put Dukinfield on the map. (But for good reasons.)


Anonymous said...

Dukinfield rocks and so do you!

Anonymous said...

hi joe matty from all saints. read your blog and its pretty good. maybe 1 day you could make jimmy get in a war and he gets stuck on which side hes on because the bad guys has his lost grandpa.

Anonymous said...

Hi joe its Jack from all saints. Your blog was rubbish NOT!!!!! LOL. It was great you made me laugh are you going to make a film out of your books. I hope you do see you in a bit.

Anonymous said...

Hi Niamh Ingham here from all saints.
It was great to meet you at our school and you should definitely include sammy the psycho in your next book.
Thanks for coming
Come back soon

Anonymous said...

hi its stephanie from all saints here. i loved the story that you made up. please come back to all saints soon!

Anonymous said...

Hey Joe you were well funny when you came to our school! i hope you come back.

Joe said...

Hey everyone - thanks for the great comments. I had an excellent day with you all.

Anonymous said...

hi joe are u comin back 2 all saints soon iz there goin 2 b a jimmy coates film think u should write a story with the year 9 ideas and dedicate it to us