Back in the day, way back when we were young, fresh-faced, and slightly podgier than we are now, I dropped a jar of aubergine pickle on my thumb.
Way back on March 24th, actually.
My thumbnail went purple and my thumb hurt a lot. (LAME JOKE ALERT: I was going to post a picture of the injury, but then I realised it would only be a thumbnail picture. HA HA HA.)
So why the history lesson?
Today I finally clipped the last bit of purple off my nail. My thumb is back to full strength and will be back , training with the rest of the squad before tomorrow.
So when people tell you that human nails grow really quickly, they're lying. It's taken my purple bit over five months to grow the length of my thumbnail. Not fast at all. Slower than a lazy snail in the belly of a sloth.