It's been a while since I posted anything up here - the reasons for that will become clear.
It's been even longer since I had a good rant. To be honest, I haven't had the time or the topic. And that's a shame. Now I have a juicy complaint with the world, but it seems a little easy to rant about it, so I will limit it to a simple timeline.
March 10th - I ring Sky to tell them that I'm moving house. They will need to transfer my TV and my broadband to my new address, which I supply. They say there's a glitch on the computer and I'll have to call back in a couple of days.
March 12th (call 1) - I call back. Still a glitch on the computer, but a man in the broadband department gets round it somehow (without telling me what he's doing) and says it's OK, he's arranged for my broadband to be transferred.
March 12th (call 2) - The man in the TV department tells me there's no longer a glitch in the computer, but he can't arrange for me to have TV in my new home because of whatever the man in the broadband department did. Whatever it was, he can't undo it. He tells me someone will call me back within 48 hours.
March 15th - Nobody's called me. I call Sky. There's a glitch on the computer. I have to wait. Someone will call me back within 24 hours.
March 16th - Nobody's called me. I call Sky. The glitch on the computer is gone. But they can't do anything until whatever the man in the broadband department did has been undone, which will take 14 days.
March 19th - I move house. I have no TV and no internet in my new home (but, by the way, I'm still paying my Sky subscription).
March 20th - I call Sky. They still can't do anything to give me TV or internet until whatever the man did has been undone. They tell me someone will call me as soon as the problem is sorted out.
March 21st - Sky man calls. Just to tell me that he can't sort out the problem. He'll call again when he can.
March 24th - I call Sky. It's been 14 days since the Sky broadband man did whatever he did to cause the problem that would take 14 days to undo. But now there's a glitch on the computer. They can't sort out the problem. They decide that the only way to sort this out is to cancel my old account completely, and to set up a new account.
This will take 14 days. Someone will call me in 24 hours to arrange a visit from an engineer who can set up my Sky TV. They can't sort out the broadband until the glitch is gone.
March 26th - Nobody's called me. I call Sky. Apparently an engineer can come on April 5th to install my Sky TV. Great. What about broadband? That's on order. It could take 14 days. Someone will call me within 48 hours to tell me what's going on.
March 28th - Nobody's called me. I call Sky. My broadband will be activated on April 12th. Sky offers me two months' free TV subscription. Thanks, Sky.
April 5th - An engineer arrives to install my Sky TV.
April 6th - I receive a letter telling me that an engineer will be coming to install my Sky TV on April 5th. Thanks, Sky.
Also April 6th - My Sky TV now works, but 24 hours after the engineer who installed it has left, one of the screws holding the dish in place falls out. The dish looks a bit wobbly. TV still works though.
April 7th - I receive a letter telling me that my Sky broadband will be activated on April 12th.
April 10th - I receive a letter telling me that although my Sky broadband should be activated on April 12th, I should allow an extra three days, just in case.
April 11th - I receive a letter welcoming me to Sky, and telling me that my TV account will be activated on April 5th. Er, thanks, Sky.
April 12th - Today. Broadband activation day (although of course I'm allowing an extra three days). At 8.45am the door bell rings. It's a Sky engineer. He's come to install my Sky TV. I already have Sky TV. I explain this to him. He's a bit confused, and discusses it with his colleague for a while.
The engineer asks me to check whether the SKy TV is really working. Unless I imagined the last few days of the cricket world cup, I'm pretty sure the TV is working. I check anyway, just in case.
The TV works.
I ask the engineer to put back the screw that fell out of the dish. He does this, and checks the dish.
The TV still works. The engineer leaves.
At 10.30am I receive a letter from Sky telling me that an engineer will call to install my Sky TV on April 12th. Er, thanks, Sky.
I still have no internet connection. Will it work in three days' time? Will Sky send me a letter to let me know?
One final note: my phone bill arrived today. I spent 6 pounds on calls to Sky.
That's all for now. But future rants will include:
What's wrong with the cricket world cup, apart from team coaches being murdered.
Why Gladys Knight is the most under-rated soul singer.
When these rants appear depends entirely on whether I have the internet at home. We'll see...