OK, so I'm up, it's the middle of the night, and it's Oscar night, but I'm NOT watching the ceremony. What's going on?
Well, the truth is, I've gone slightly deranged. Also, I have Sky plus now, which means I can watch the whole thing in the morning, but it'll only take about five minutes because I'll be able to fast-forward Sky's really rubbish fill in bits (OK, so I've been watching a little).
Note to Sky: What are you doing? Is that really the best you can do? Did you hand this one over to the work experience team?
I'm also not too keen on the new host. I remember laughing pretty hard in previous years at Billy Crystal, Steve Martin - even Chris Rock. But I sat through the opening 'jokes' without breaking a smile. Until the montage of cowboy scenes. That was quite funny.
So instead I've been twitching about the other big event - today's the big day. My second book officially hits the shelves (though the observant book buyers among you might have seen it sneaking around already).
So if you're a bit miserable because you didn't win an Oscar, go and buy my book to cheer yourself up.
In fact, even if you're George Clooney and you did win an Oscar, you've got to need something to read.
Jimmy Coates: Target is out there. Now I just sit back and wait for the questions to fly into my inbox. "Er, Joe - I didn't understand that bit where..."
Actually, I won't be doing any sitting back. I'll be working pretty hard on Jimmy Coates: Revenge...