This will be a strange week. I just took my car into the garage to have some long awaited work done on it. So I'll be using the bus until Friday. I had to ask my girlfriend how to use a bus because I haven't been on one since I left school. Apparently you have to buy your ticket before you get on now. I remember when you just gave the conductor thirty pence. And all this was fields...
My car needs fixing because I drove into a badger at Christmas. No, a badger ran into my car. The whole front bumper was ripped and dented. It looked pretty bad. The badger survived. I swear that badger was three feet long, but my passengers at the time don't think badgers can grow that big.
OK, it was dark and it all happened very quickly, but I'm telling you that badger was one massive beast. How else could it cause 6OO pounds worth of damage to my car? And I don't have special Badger Cover on my insurance. Maybe I should look into protection against wild animals. I just heard that there are Monjack Deer living in Barnet. Apparently they live 'in the shrubs'. In the shrubs? In bushes? Don't deer need fields and forests? How can they be living in suburban hedges?
If anyone can explain this to me I'll be grateful. Also: what's the biggest a badger can be, please.