Sunday, December 05, 2010

How To Eat a Chocolate Biscuit

Here's another exchange I've been having with a reader. This one came via twitter.

Q: Which way up do you eat chocolate biscuits?

A: Depends on the shape of the biscuit. If it's round I have to break it in half so I can dunk it. I'm a dunker.

Q: But which way up do you eat them?

A: Usually with my head at the top, feet at the bottom. I can't do headstands.

Q: Ah, but if you do not do headstands does the chocolate face the floor or the ceiling?

A: I don't have a chocolate face. I have a normal face.

Q: Oh dear... when you eat chocolate digestives which way up do you put the biscuit when you eat it?

A: Um, I put it with my hand at one end and my mouth at the other. That's right, isn't it?

Q: Oh dear... we're not getting anywhere with this. When the biscuit enters your mouth which way does the chocolate go, up or down?

A: The chocolate goes the same way as the biscuit! Into my mouth! I don't understand any other way of doing it.

Q: But is the chocolate on the top facing your nose or the bottom facing your tongue?!

A: The chocolate is on the BISCUIT!!!

Q: Which side, the top or the bottom? This is frustrating! And hard to explain which way up a biscuit goes! There's only a small number of ways you can explain it!

I suppose it must be one of life's mysteries: it's impossible to explain the difference between right and left, and it turns out it's impossible to explain which way up a biscuit goes.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

its not impossible to distinguish/describe left and right. Left and right are surprisingly universal references: Optic rotation describes the direction of motion of light though different materials. Left can, in these terms, be described as the direction light travels in passing through sucrose.