Hi to everyone at Broxbourne School. Thanks for the warm welcome and crazy stories today.
I remembered something when I got home this afternoon - when I was little my mum and dad took me to a place called Broxbourne Lido. Does that still exist? I'm not even sure what a Lido is, but as far as I can remember it was a massive swimming pool, with slides and a wave machine and, um, changing rooms and stuff. Do you have that in Broxbourne? Do you all go there? I wish I'd thought about it this morning so I could ask you all about it.
By the way, for those people that I didn't meet today, (and let's face it, that's almost all of the people in the world) I have a big, fat, juicy black eye. Except it's gone black in a weird pattern that makes it look as if I'm wearing very dark purple eye shadow, and it has a little pointed bit at the corner of my eye that looks like eye-liner.
Yes, I look a bit like a girl today. Well, half my face does. I've become Dr Jekyll and Miss Hyde's cheeky cousin who wears too much eye shadow.
And how did I get this shiner?
I stepped on a rake.
Yes, that's right. The handle of the rake jumped into my head. The first thing that shot into my brain (apart from tiny pieces of rake handle) was that scene in an episode of The Simpsons when Sideshow Bob walks through a field of rakes getting smashed in the face by every one.
So I laughed.
And then came the pain.
Then I laughed again, because I felt my head and a bump had immediately sprung into existence on my eye-brow. Yes, a cartoon-style bump.
I could almost hear the cuckoo whistle that always goes with the bump coming up in cartoons.
And then came more pain.
Now: pain gone. Eye black. Look silly. Feel...
Not in a good way.