Thursday, May 04, 2006

The 10 Essential Tools For Writing

1. Water - lots and lots. A 1 per cent drop in hydration equals a 10 per cent drop in concentration. Someone told me that once.

2. A nearby toilet (see item 1.)

3. Savoury snacks - wasabi peas, sunflower seeds, toast, a plate of cold meats, or preferably all of these together on a tray.

4. Sweet snacks - chocolate covered sunflower seeds, chocolate, mentos, etc.

5. Lip balm - because I seem to lick my lips a lot when I'm thinking, and my lips get dry.

6. Eye-wash - because I keep getting lip balm in my eyes (don't ask).

7. Music - must be instrumental so I don't start singing along. Usually crazy jazz to stimulate my brain.

8. Dictionary of Classical Mythology - wonderful source of names, stories and general inspiration.

9. Glass aubergine - an ornament into which I can stare for hours on end, in deep contemplation.

And finally...

10. Motivational signs - I have a few of these. They read:

"I don't get stuck, I get hungry." - as in, "Don't waste time sitting there if you're not being productive. You're only being slow cos you need a snack-boost. Get something to eat and come back."

"Er, hello?" - as in, "Er, hello, what are you doing? Shouldn't you be working?"

"Pascal." - I can't remember what this one means, but it seems to work.

1 comment:

tikkles said...

It's a wonder you're not as fat as Pavarotti himself. What's your secret? Do the wasabi peas have a "cleansing" effect on your body?

I'm finally getting my teeth stuck into "Target", you'll be happy to know.

Have to say, though, that Flipside review on the back cover is shameful!

"a lit bit this & a lit bit that and a lot of what you've never read before"

WHAT? Have the illiterates taken over the asylum???

There's a 30 year-old journo somewhere who thinks he speaks like a really street-wise kid.

He is in error.