Ladies and gentlemen, today I officially became something. I don't know what it is. It's not a man, it's not quite an adult, it might be something somewhere between a style guru and a ponce.
Not only was today the first time I have ever bought anything from Harvey Nichols, and not only was it the first time I've bought a pair of black formal shoes for myself, but it was also the first time I have ever spent more than a certain amount on a pair of shoes.
(Who wants to guess how much that amount is?)
Don't get me wrong - I'm still not the sort of person who gets all excited about shoes and goes 'oooh, those shoes, they're to die for'. No pair of shoes is 'to die for'.
Sweet chilli sauce, perhaps. Shoes? No.
But as shoes go, these are good shoes. Classic, with a contemporary twist.
I feel like I've learnt a lot today.
Harvey Nichols was cool, but a little too much like a network of caves.
The salespeople were overbearingly helpful, without actually being much help.
And when you're carrying a big bag with 'Harvey Nichols' emblazoned on it, people on the tube look at you completely differently.