Seder Songs For Passover

For many years it annoyed me that some of the songs at Seder night (or Passover) seemed lazily written. They had plenty of good bits, but also too many bits that didn't fit the tune or rhyme properly. Let's not forget that the Jewish tradition is one that includes some of the greatest songwriters of all time (the Gershwins, Irving Berlin, Sammy Cahn, Leiber & Stoller, Hal David... and many more). I didn't like it that our Seder night songs let the side down a bit.

So I wrote some new ones. I also took the old ones and RE-wrote them, tweaking them a bit, cutting bits, adding bits and generally tidying them up so that they worked.

Here they are. Three that I wrote from scratch and the others that I didn't write, but these versions are (hopefully) improvements on the already very good originals. (If you're interested you'll easily find the originals out there on the internet for your own comparison.)

Here goes. Three Seder Songs I wrote for you:

GOD REST YE, MERRY JEWS

(To the tune of God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen)

The Jews were slaves in Egypt (not the perfect status quo).

So Moses went to Pharaoh and said, “Let my people go!”

Then, “Tally-ho, come on, let’s go – no time to bake the dough,”

If we all leave now then trust me we’ll be fine – (it’s Exodus time)

So our bread will seem quite crisp but we’ll be fine.”

-

For 40 years we wandered through the desert getting lost,

The highlights were the stones we found with ten new laws embossed,

We should have hired a mini-bus but think what that would cost,

So we eat unleavened bread and drink our wine – (it’s Passover time)

So we sit here with our matzah drinking wine.

-

The Red Sea was an obstacle because we couldn’t fly.

But god said, “Part the waves, you fools. Go forth and multiply.”

Then thousands of Egyptians drowned while Moses’ lot stayed dry

So let’s eat our meal in comfort and recline – (it’s Seder Night time)

It’s a slap-up feast at which we must recline.

SEDER SEDER HALLELUJAH

(To the tune of The Battle Hymn of the Republic)

Moses goes to Pharaoh and says let my people go

Pharaoh's having none of it the answer's clearly no

But plagues can be persuasive this our Moses knows and so:
The Jews say thank you god
CHORUS:

Seder Seder hallelujah, Seder Seder hallelujah, Seder Seder hallelujah

The Jews say thank you god

Blood and frogs and lice and wild beasties roaming free
Pestilence and pus and hail as far as you can see

Swarms of locusts, darkness and a baby killing spree

The Jews say thank you god

CHORUS

Riding through the desert's when we hit another glitch
How to cross the waters of an ocean dark & rich?
The waves divide the ground's a dry & dusty ditch, for which:
The Jews say thank you god.

CHORUS

THE SEVEN DAYS OF PESACH

(To the tune of The Twelve Days of Christmas)

On the first day of Pesach I hope you bring to me

Another bowl of chicken soup please.

On the second day of Pesach I hope you bring to me

2 bitter herbs and another bowl of chicken soup please.

On the third day of Pesach I hope you bring to me

3 matzahs

2 bitter herbs and another bowl of chicken soup please.

On the fourth day of Pesach I hope you bring to me

4 cups of wine

3 matzahs

2 bitter herbs and another bowl of chicken soup please.

On the fifth day of Pesach I hope you bring to me

5 MATZAH BALLS!

4 cups of wine

3 matzahs

2 bitter herbs and another bowl of chicken soup please.

On the sixth day of Pesach I hope you bring to me

6 afikomen

5 MATZAH BALLS!

4 cups of wine

3 matzahs

2 bitter herbs and another bowl of chicken soup please.

On the seventh day of Pesach I hope you bring to me

7 sprigs of parsley

6 afikomen

5 MATZAH BALLS!

4 cups of wine

3 matzahs

2 bitter herbs and another bowl of chicken soup please.

And now here are some of the songs my family has enjoyed over the years. I didn't write these (credit to whoever originally did, all those years ago - you must be out there somewhere) but I have tweaked them and rewritten parts of them to iron out the bits that weren't quite perfect.

THE BALLAD OF THE FOUR SONS

(To the tune of Oh My Darling Clementine)

Once a father had no daughters, but his sons they numbered four.

One was wise and one was wicked, one was simple and a bore.

Number four was sweet and winsome, he was young and he was small.

While his brothers asked the questions, he could hardly speak at all.

Said the wise son to his father, “Would you please explain the laws?

All the customs of the seder, would you please explain their cause?”

So the father proudly answered, “Once our fathers ate in speed,

And by midnight they’d escaped so from their slavery they were freed.

“Now we follow their example and by midnight must complete

All the rituals of the seder – after twelve we may not eat.”

But the wicked son was sneering, “What does all this mean to you?”

And the father’s voice was bitter as his grief and anger grew.

“If yourself you don’t include in all the stories that we tell

Then for you this has no meaning – you could be a slave as well.” (You little bastard.)

Now the third son was the slow one, quite a witless one was he,

So his father kept it simple: “Freed from slavery were we.”

Next along there sat the youngest, barely old enough to crawl.

Was he listening? Who can say. Yet still the father told them all:

“My dear children, heed the lesson and repeat it evermore!”

That’s the blessing from the father to his sons that numbered four.

THE BALLAD OF MOSES

(To the tune of She’ll Be Coming Round The Mountain)

Now Moses’ mother hid him for while

Then she built a box and placed him in the Nile

Pharaoh’s daughter came and saw him, told her servants to withdraw him

Looked upon him and then broke into a smile.

She said, “I really do believe my luck is in.

The delights one can discover on a swim!

Oh, just wait til I daddy that I’ve found a little laddy

We must take him in and make a prince of him. (What could possibly go wrong?)

Well, one Summer’s day he took a walk as planned

Saw Egyptian beating Hebrew, whip in hand

So he killed the cruel taskmaster then to ward off a disaster

Had to hide the blighter’s body in the sand.

He said, “Pharaoh will be furious when he hears

And in retrospect I’m overcome with fears

Pharaoh don’t like martyrs. He’ll have my guts for garters!”

So he fled and stayed away for forty years.

From a burning bush God said to Moses, “Hey!

Go tell Pharaoh that the Israelites won’t stay

They don’t like his hospitality or his racialist mentality

So on Pesach night they’ll all be on their way.”

Pharaoh chased them to the sea shore where he found

That the Israelites had crossed but on dry ground!

They were not downhearted, cos for them the sea had parted.

It was Pharaoh’s army following that drowned.

So the Israelites were saved from further flight

And marched off until Mount Sinai came in sight

Hebrew slavery had ended, Moses to the top ascended

And the Israelites sang out with all their might:

He’ll be coming down the mountain by and by

He’ll be holding ten commandments up on high

And we’ll not be slaves no more,r cos we’re gonna have the Torah

Singing AY YI YIPPEE YIPPEE YI

Singing AY YI YIPPEE YIPPEE YI

Singing AY YI YIPPEE YIPPEE YI

And we’ll not be slaves no morer, cos we’re gonna have the Torah (big finish…)

Singing AY YI YIPPEE YIPPEE YI